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  • The Neurodivergent Therapy Space

How Do I Support Someone With Demand Avoidance

Supporting someone with demand avoidance, (PDA), requires a patient and flexible approach. Here are some general strategies that may be helpful:

1. Understand the Condition: Educate yourself about demand avoidance. Understanding the challenges faced by individuals with PDA can help you approach situations with empathy and patience.

2. Recognise Triggers: Identify specific situations or demands that trigger avoidance behaviours. By recognising these triggers, you can work towards minimising stressors and finding alternative ways to approach tasks.

3. Use Indirect Language: Individuals with demand avoidance may respond better to indirect requests or suggestions. Instead of giving direct commands, consider presenting options or using a more flexible language that allows them to feel a sense of control.

4. Provide Choices: Offer choices and autonomy whenever possible. This can help the individual feel more in control of the situation, reducing anxiety and resistance.

5. Establish Routines: Predictability and routine can be comforting for individuals with PDA. Establishing clear routines can help reduce anxiety and make it easier for them to navigate daily activities.

6. Build Trust: Establishing a trusting relationship is crucial. Individuals with PDA may have experienced difficulties in trusting others, so working towards building a sense of trust can contribute to a more positive interaction.

7. Be Flexible: Be prepared to adapt and be flexible in your approach. Rigidity can be a significant source of stress for someone with demand avoidance, so a flexible and patient attitude is essential.

8. Provide Clear Communication: Clearly communicate expectations and changes in advance. Individuals with PDA may struggle with uncertainty, so providing clear information about what to expect can help reduce anxiety.

9. Focus on Interests: Engage the individual in activities or tasks that align with their interests. This can increase motivation and cooperation.

10. Seek Professional Support: If the demand avoidance is causing significant distress or impairment, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or a therapist, who has a mix of lived and educational experience in working with individuals with PDA.

It's important to note that strategies may vary from person to person, and what works for one individual may not work for another. Regular communication and collaboration with the individual, as well as involving them in decision-making when appropriate, can contribute to a more supportive and understanding environment.

As always ensure you are actively engaging in self-care regimes, the more grounded you are, the more able you will feel to support your loved one with demand avoidance.

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