Before I embarked on the journey of therapy, I didn't even entertain the idea, not because I refused, just because I didn't think much could be done, I was who I was.
People go through life and accept who they are based on what they are told they are by 'other people'. Those, 'other people' have their beliefs from their 'other people' and how they were raised and so it becomes a bit of an unhealthy cycle. And that is exactly what I did! Lets face it, we grow up with no other clue in the world than what the people around us, tell us.
It is only when we begin looking into what we have always been told, that we begin questioning it and questioning where those beliefs come from.
Suddenly we realise;
Ohh, that actually was not right,
Ohh, I'm not actually a bad person,
Ohh, I actually was uncomfortable with that,
Ohh, that’s why I do that,
Ohh I can be exactly who I am and that is ok,
Ohh, it all makes sense now
The process of therapy is hard but the benefits far outweigh the challenge.
There is something magical that happens in an equal relationship with someone who has the ability to hold and sit with you through those darkest moments. Where you can bare all, feel anything and be vulnerable; knowing they don't judge you and they are not going to tell you what they believe you should do.
It is something that I always struggle to explain, because it is just like magic.
How does all that help you? Well, as much as I can't sit here and say I can fix all your problems for you. I can tell you from lived experience and working with other vulnerable people as a counsellor; that I can help you to understand yourself, I can help you to look at the beliefs and stories you have always told yourself (or been told) and I can truly hear you when you tell me what has happened to you.
By looking at your beliefs, your history, your story, you begin to accept who you are, which gives you the ability to make choices. Throw away what doesn't serve you anymore and take what you like from it.
Becoming more accepting of yourself, enables you to have healthier relationships with others around you.
Self-knowledge + self-awareness = self-acceptance